Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Tuesday Ramble - The Irritating Man

Have you ever met someboy, one single person, who irritates the complete shit out of you?  Everything they do, say, their mannerisms, just everything, makes you want to punch them in the face?  I am fortunate to have such a person in my life.....

He's there, waiting for me every day at work - it wouldn't matter if I arrived half an hour before my shift, he'd still be there, sitting in that chair, hands clasped across his almost pregnant looking stomach, with that smirk, that arrogant, smarmy smirk that I'd love to throw a chair at.  I always give him a polite "hello", albeit through gritted teeth.  I also politely listen to him drone on about how hard life is for him, having to decide which useless gadget he needs to spend his money on this week.  Some of his sleep inducing rambles must have got through because I know he's going to chose the most expensive one before he's even decided himself.

Then we pick up our patients.  Now, first thing in the morning, they're all that keep me from smacking my head off a wall to end the pain.  I have some really great patients.  Which is why it hurts my head, ears and eyes (from the constant rolling) when he tries a bit of comradery with them.  It's like, seriously, you do not need to kiss their ass, they're not the ones paying you and you have enough fun doing that with the people who do.  Some of them laugh, uncomfortably, others pretend they don't hear him.  I actually have that benefit when sitting in the back because the man mumbles something chronic.  I can't hear what he's saying, but I don't actually care enough to ask him to speak up.  It's even better when he actually puts the radio on.  Of course, with that comes his singing...or cat crying.

The time between patients is my saviour.  I get to read and drown him out.  Although, to be fair, he usually goes elsewhere and does the earlier butt kissing I was talking about.  Sometimes, when I'm feeling generous, I'll actually converse with him.  If it's work related, I'm usually interested as somewhere along the line what he's saying is bound to affect me in some shape or form, especially as I've never met a man (or woman for that matter) who can gossip quite as much as him.  It's 99% of the reason behind us being late picking up patients.  Let me tell you, that's a fabulous time, having to hear patients complain about how long they've been waiting.  It's my most favourite topic of conversation, ever!  Anywhoo, work related conversation type talking.  I find myself giving my opinion on situations, especially his one sided, bigoted, narrow minded blethers.  He argues, his opinions are always right, of course.  But what I especially love about these conversations is getting to hear my opinions regurgitated to others.  It's like watching someone try to do a jigsaw puzzle in the dark - the pieces are all there but you're not sure where they go, and you never will, because it's not your opinion!

This cocky, smarmy arsehole also seems to think he's one of the best driver's in the job.  Of course you are, mounting kerbs, driving OVER roundabouts and going 20 mph over the speed limit are all qualities one looks for in an outstanding driver.  Silly me.....